Lost Love Lust

Tags: Funny.

• bitch, get me a sandwhich.

  Putting salt in your coffee is like being high on a sunday.
  They simply don’t go together.
  I arrived home at approximately twenty minutes after 1.
  My phone rang as I lit my cigarette.
  I ignored the call. It was thursday. One of the 6 days I gave a fuck less about my mobile device.
  I light my cigarette with [...]

• bowl.

  Monday
  - I have a few people on my list, whom with each status, make me wonder more and more why I’m their friend to begin with.
  - Drama in my life is like puddles on the sidewalk, sometimes I can jump over them, and sometimes I sink ankle deep in them unintending.
  - If I’m ever homeless, [...]

• cake & microphone.

  Tuesday.
  - I’ve never really understood the concept of being able to go out in public in a bathing suit, but if you walk out in a bra and underwear, it is frowned upon.
  - You know that moment when somebody is talking to you, but you just feel like saying:
  “Yeah, honestly, I don’t give a fuck [...]

• like cheese and crackers, guys.

  Just yesterday, I enjoyed one of the experiences the young people of today so often practice.
  The text message conversation.
  Well, I must say, I was washing the dishes and while taking part in this text extravaganza, I laughed out loud continuously. 
  It went a little something like this:
  Dean : i need you to cut open this safe while [...]