smug.

Friday

- You’ve got a bit of ignorance on your lip. Here, take the life napkin, perhaps it can wipe it off.

- What exactly is attractive in a man wearing socks up to his knees and pants that also happen to reach the same length?
Are they trying to be idiots?
They’re doing a good job.

- So I keep seeing: “If I could rearrange the keyboard, I would put U and I together.”
If it were me, I would suggest a backspace and an ALT+F4 for those who think that is clever.

- I like laying on carpet, its almost as enjoyable as the occasional nail bed.

- Children are kind of like construction, they’re fine until the noise starts getting to be a bit much.

- I have all my academic awards taped on my wall.
Strictly adjacent to those are pictures of Marilyn Monroe, Anne Boleyn, and Corrine Griffith.
Does anyone see a sense of extreme irony in that other than me?

- I like rocks. They’re the only thing on my desk that don’t need dusting. Its quite convenient.

- Lately, I’ve been writing as often as I feed my fish. Once a week.
I should do that more. Writing, that is.
The fish should be fine.

- I read an article about feminists the other day. Apparently, I can’t be one because I actually enjoy cleaning.

- I saw a really beautiful girl the other day, but then she turned around and I saw her face.

- Drive-through workers should be provided the occasional alcoholic drink.
Maybe they would be much more friendly that way.

- Every time the air condition goes on, I feel the bank accounts being drained.

- I want to have my coffee tomorrow at zero G and the skys to rain spider monkeys.
Nothing too extravagant.

- Till next time, my sweet little gum drops.

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