Lost Love Lust

Ah one of the small sweet joys of life.

Perhaps a good song, and a good thought.

I find it funny how we consider ourselves different yet we are so much alike.

The continuous search for love? Interesting. Lately I have really thought of what this thing might mean, not actually being in love, but the actual need for it, I find life could be very hard without love, or any emotion from one human being to another.

Is it the search for attention though? Or do we give genuine emotion just because we feel like it.

Morose feelings flow as the notes to this song play second by second, I sometimes think of you, and regret many, maybe a lot, but I smile, because remembering is all I have. You know who you are.

The sweet irony of loving someone, yet being able to love another too, is this advantage? Or burden?

Could I ever accept such a thing? To be loved by someone who loves me, but declares to love someone else too?

It is interesting to see these sort of relationships around me, and when it comes down to it, I see myself a very confused and apprehensive young woman.

I would like the classic idea of the man being the “man” of the house, I will not go out and mow the lawn, and I will not change the oil in the car, although I know how to.

Nor will I ask of my husband to fold clothes, or sew, or iron clothes.

I know this seems sexist, or perhaps I am pushing against the furthering of female independence, but it is who I am, I like the idea of each owning their own tasks and keeping the woman a woman, and the man a man.

After somebody told me a saying about a chicken and a rooster, I really got to thinking, I really got to wondering, could it be right? As long as the rooster knows that he can have the chicken whenever he wants, that is all that matters. Just as long as he knows.

There are a bunch of sayings that suggest a woman should know her place but in the same time use it wisely.

The man is the head, but the woman turns the neck?

The strongest men, Greek, Roman, many of them, had smart witty women behind them, A Roman would go home at night and discuss with his wife all of the problems, and she would express her feelings in their own home, but in public, allow him to announce it.

I really do not have many persuasive facts to denounce my actual liking of this perhaps “conservative” idea on couples, but I do know one thing, out of all this, I have earned something great. Something new. Something good.

The knowledge that this is something I like, for no particular reason, and although people may disagree, it will still be me, it will still be my own personal feeling.

And walking into my own skin, I will keep my head high, because these are the years,
and this is the time. 

And so the song continues.