beg for your life.

The adrenaline flows through my veins.

The coffee twitches in my fingers, the music shakes my synapses.

I have a date with a heart attack, and it’s not going to be dinner and a movie.

This spinning machine will make my muscles clean.

The numbers count down to my defeat, miles per hour the enemy.

It’s me against myself, the ultimate duel.

My organs scream and beg for it to cease, but my ambition laughs in their face.

I grip the handles, look to the sky and push on.

It’s when we step accross the boundry that we find ourselves face to face with our enemy.

The liquid cancers, the soot infested smoke, and the fat engulfed arteries fear for their lives.

I grit my teeth, my muscles tense and trembling.

Even my breath speaks of retreat, yet I refuse all defeat.

My soul, ammunition.

My mind, the gun.

My body, the bullet.

The trigger lifted, the countdown ended.

I walk away.

 Limping yet triumphant.

My right knee throbs of pain, my lungs struggle, and my heart throws itself through my rib cage.

Today was a good work out.

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to you, whom made me who i am.

There are those.
There are those whom make up what we are.
The ones that stared into the hopeful eyes of our childhood and made way for the path.
Whom gave us the drive to be what our hearts most desired, and along the way smiled with pride.
The ones who gave us the wisest of words, and the kindest of thoughts.
Whom welcomed our dissapointed hearts with open arms, and told us the words we needed to hear.
The ones who made us cry with laughter, and made our days as sunny as the Summer’s day.

The years travelled at the speed of light, and they watched as we blossomed.
Observing from a bitter sweet distance as their once sweet children became more than they had ever expected.
Their smiles told the tale of pride, and their hearts the tale of undying dedication.
We looked up to them as children, and hoped to one day become even the smallest glimmer of their revere.
Their every word, a guidance.
Their every hope, a goal.

There are those.
There are those whom take up a part of our soul.
The ones whom without, we would be nothing.
There are those to whom each accomplishment we dedicate.
The ones whose words pushed us forward.
There are those.

There are those to whom I will forever be grateful.
There are those.

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matinal.

Friday.

- I had a cup of pessimist this morning. I would have had a cup of clever, but we were out of sugar.

- Let us discuss D-Day [...] The end.

- So if cool is no longer cool does that make me uncooly cool?

- Inspiration is like the morning paper, it isn’t an afternoon thing.

[This was written at 1:00 pm.]

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regrets resurface.

Much like the winds of spring bringing in the new, their love soared.

It was a glimmer in time when all was calm and well.

 Her laughter was genuine, his thoughts complete.

But just as the rose wilts and the winter cold sets in, their love had given its last breathe.

It was a three years full of happiness. It was a three years of sadness.

But all in all, it was love.

He had loved her like no other, and she turned her back.

Her retreat had signed her sentence, for she would run from love like prey from its predator.

He swore his love would never cease, and warned her that she would be the one to forget what had been.

Yet, oceans seperated them and she was the one who never forgot.

His heartbreak forced him to search for comfort in another, and her heartbreak into isolation.

Love was an unspoken word, a forbidden sentiment that to her brought only heart ache and despair.

They have been apart for a year and a half now.

Each on their own journey.

He has found love in another, and she has remained alone.

Because you see, life is not without a sense of irony.

We make our beds and we lay in them.

I ran, he gave in.

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a long awaited phoenix visit.

Yes! It finally took place, after attempting 4 seperate times we finally visited the
Phoenix Art Museum.

I was so excited I could barely contain myself.
Vivi and Jake came over, I finished my coffee and we were on our way!
Jake mistaked the Scottsdale Art Museum for the Phoenix Art Museum but we eventually got there.
Here are some of my favorite things I saw.
(the pictures are off the original site because we weren’t allowed to take pictures in most of the exhibits.)


“Upside Down, Inside Out” By Anish Kapoor 2003

This was in the Contemporary Arts section as we walked in. Of course this was my favorite section in the Museum considering my love for Modern & Abstract Arts.


“Mass Colder Darker Matter” by Cornelia Parker 1997

This was also an interesting piece in the Contemporary Arts section, it’s made out of pieces of burnt wood from a church that was struck by lightning. I found the concept and the story behind it really interesting.


“Gretchen” by Robert Lango 1985

The last piece in the Contemporary Arts that I found really intriguing was this one by Robert Lango . For some reason I really liked it and will probably use it as a source of inspiration for my next painting.


“You Who are Getting Obliterated in the Dancing Swarm of Fireflies” by Yayoi Kusama

After the Contemporary Arts we went to the Firefly Exhibit and Vivi had to hold my hand as I walked in because my glasses made it very difficult to see the limits of floor and walls. It is a room filled with led lights and mirrors all around, and of course the clumsy me I am, I ended up walking into a wall because I thought I saw Vivi coming towards me when actually I was walking towards her reflection. It was quite funny. I took off my glasses after and realized that the magnification of my glasses was making the room seem three times bigger than it actually was. That explained a lot.


“Pollice Verso” by Jean Leon Gerome 1872

We continued over to the European Arts and I really enjoyed that too. Sadly I couldn’t find many pictures of the paintings we saw because they are very rare and are not allowed to be photgraphed. There were several pieces from the 15th and 16th century that were truly impressive. The softness with which the artists painted back then is impossible to recreate. There were many mythological refference paintings and also 17th and 18th century style paintings that were so realistic it was intimidating.


We also saw this 9th Century Sitting Buddha Statue in the Asian Arts. The detail they used on many of the pottery pieces that were there was amazing, the sheer dedication they must have had to do all that just boggles ones mind.

There were many pieces I would have loved to put on here, especially the famous Ansel Adams photography exhibit we were lucky to see while we were there but unfortunately all I can suggest is a visit of your own, guys! It was lovely and a nice touch to my busy weekend.

After the museum Jake was a cutie and took us out to eat and we met up with a bunch of friends Vivi knew when she lived in Phoenix that she’s gotten in touch with again since she’s moving back soon. (which I must say I’m extra excited about since she won’t be nearly as far now) But overall it was a great Saturday.

 - Till next time, dearies.

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