soul of twenty-one.

Every year, around my birthday, I write a letter to myself.

I write this letter to remind myself of the year’s experiences and to remind myself of it’s lessons learned.

Each year this gets harder. It gets harder because I approach these same pages and same thoughts with new eyes. I gaze upon memories and some begin to fade ever so far.

This year was twenty one.

Dear Dyana,

It feels as if only yesterday you laid in the grass, reveling in the beauty of the vast above. With a young soul, you saw hope in all capabilities. You fought with such fire that no challenge could bear witness to your defeat. And yet, what have you learned in these moments come and gone? Have you earned the valor of those that stand tall? Do you find pride in looking back at the steps made? This year has brought darkness and it has brought light. Do you still walk among the chosen? You have seen many blessings.

This year, your long forsaken belief in love was forever contradicted. You found that your heart could be held once more. You found that your soul could still feel everlasting compassion. You found him. And though the journey to him was ever so rocky, you reached his arms in perfect harmony. Pure. Free of darkness. Forever filled with light. Even now, looking back, your eyes fill with tears of joy. For he entered your life like a hand in drowning water. He revived your very being with his warm embrace. Many years from now, when youth has escaped your heart, you will remember those beautiful days which seemed to never end. You will remember the softness of his touch and kindness of his heart. But also, in this time, do not forget. You are your own possession. Do not leave yourself behind in this mist of love and passion. Remember, you are made to achieve greatness.

Keep your voice strong, your ambitions large, and your eyes open. Do not expect from others, what you alone cannot give. Walk like a pilgrim who already knows path. Hold the hand of he who is not fortunate. Stay humble as you rise. You have the same eyes, heart, and blood as all. Guide those whom desire to follow. Hold your mother and father close. They are the strength in your legs, the wood to your fire, and the blood to your heart. Know this and appreciate it’s very essence. Understand that some will stay and some will go. You hold the power to forge your path. Let no one convince you otherwise. If someone is deserving, you will know. If they are not, they will fade away like the leaves of wind. Transfer anger into kindness. Observe the faults of those around you, and instead of condemn, learn. Take their faults and transform the into your growth. Prosper from your experience and saturate your mind in knowledge. Never stop wondering. Those with simple thoughts never made it far. Trust in yourself and always stay true. You have done beautifully and will continue to do so. Let nothing stand in your way.

“You’re as young as the morning sun, and as warm as a glass of rum. Take this journey and live to the beat, not to defeat. Don’t stray from yourself, it’s only a matter of time till the white rabbit will reveal himself.”

- Dyana.

liquid.

And all who speak, hold my deception.

In my greatest of efforts, creation holds it’s ground.

The fall to succession will not harbor the proper timing.

I am one with the essence, and second with the radiance.

Startled in thought, I am liquid.

To my slightest demands, this path unravels.

My shadow imprints on sunlight below me.

The blinking of laughter goes untold.

I am one with the essence, and second with the radiance.

A broken seam, whole again.

My wallet presents dead weight.

The perception thickens.

Glass, vision.

Embedding the repetition, I thread my freedom.

Counterclockwise, my stars jackle.

The leaf beckons, the root glistens.

A curve leads onward, geometric.

I am one with the essence, and second with the radiance.

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hollow souls.

I cash in on my last hopes and give birth to chaos.

I give no meaning to the hollow souls in my surrounding.

They lie. They scheme.

They all fade.

Fade, into the darkness.

On this day, I dance the devil’s tango.

I hold no morality for the hollow souls in my surrounding.

I lie. I scheme.

I fade.

Fade, into darkness.

Words of sorrow mimic silently as I withstand the burning pain.

I see no future for the hollow souls in my surrounding.

You lie. You scheme.

You fade.

Fade, into darkness.

Begging for healing, I scream for reformation.

I conspire absence for the hollow souls in my surrounding.

We lie. We scheme.

We fade.

Fade, into darkness.

On this day, I dance the devil’s tango.

I cash in on my last hopes and give birth to chaos.

arson.

It was a time when everything mattered for none.

I held in my hand the solitude of new beginning.

And as creation spoke in different tones, we sat deafened.

Casual.

Aptitude of disorder, I am no longer of heart.

No longer of great.

No longer of love.

The legs stand haltered.

The moon grasps.

It was a time when everything mattered for none.

The cartoon hands of generals, wave.

Sheep scatter.

Chaos smiles.

I was wearing the color of arson.

Created of that which art could not remake.

I stood, grounded.

It was a time when everything mattered for none.

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